I just launched a full water bottle down my stairs.
No.. I wish I was!
It’s true 🙁
The self proclaimed spiritual awakening guy on youtube just flipped out… BIG TIME
I trust I am among friends and you will forgive my indiscretion.
My kids were really acting up all day. Come evening time when it was time to get them ready for bed, weren’t listening…bickering among eachother, making huge messes… you know typical kid stuff.
This happened to come at the end of a very long and arduous day, with the whole family not feeling their best due to a cold that snuck it’s way in.
What drove me over the edge was when I noticed that my, almost 3 year old son, Lukas, purposely snapped about 8 of his blinds in his bedroom.
I couldn’t take it.
I was boiling with tension and it was either I chuck this water bottle down the stairs or my head would explode.
Have you experienced that before?
Of course, I don’t think any of us are above doing such things at least once in our life.
However, this can happen far more often than most of us are willing to admit during our awakening. (Especially during challenging astrology, like “Eclipse Season”)
Our sensitivity is through the roof and there are those times when we are walking around grinding our teeth all day, doing our best to maintain a semblance of sanity and equilibrium… but it’s not easy.
It’s a struggle, but we maintain an appearance of being cool, present, conscious, and collected.
But then… there is a straw…
Sometimes we sense it approaching and other times, it catches us off guard.
Yes… the straw that shatters the poor camels back, and we LOSE IT!
Completely and Totally….
I’m talking like Linda Blair in the Exorcist, sort of, lose it.
Pure, uninhibited rage… explodes out of us like a cannon on the 4th of july.
And afterwards, we feel like a complete idiot.
A total failure.
This can happen even after we have come a long way spiritually, which makes us feel even that much more small and ridiculous.
What can be perhaps the worst aspect of all, is that we often times reserve these special moments for the ones we love the most who deserve it the least.
That explosion, we always know is all about US…
Oh the guilt… the embarrassment… and the disappointment we feel immediately following.
What makes us feel even worse yet, is that we usually feel a huge sense of physical relief afterwards, but at what expense? – we ask ourselves.
In the past I would keep myself up for days, carefully examining the situation… questioning my own integrity and basically beating myself up over it.
Finally, after a few years of doing this from time to time, especially as I saw the same energy and manifestation of it, in my wife, I realized that… it’s just one of those things man.
When I was able to see it in another person who was also undergoing the ascension process, I saw that there’s no point beating ourselves over it.
I don’t know about you guys… but those times I have acted in that way, truly, seemed unavoidable.
It was like the energy of agitation and indignation was so potent… so present… and so real, the outburst was bound to happen.
Even in retrospect… tonight, I don’t see how I could have kept my cool any better, or done things differently.
I have come to notice that within the ups and downs of our awakening, there do seem to be those perfect storms… many times a wicked cosmic cocktail of …
- Really Challenging Astrology – (Eclipses, Equinoxes, Full or New Moons, etc.)
- Big Life Movement & Changes
- Abnormally, Heightened Sensitivity To EVERYTHING
- An Almost Laughably Absurd Amount and Rate Of Stressors – (that seem to spill into our lives at the most inopportune times)
All of which, culminating in this psychotic breakdown, that, on paper, seems unavoidable to any human being, and one could even question if they were begin set up by the universe!
Now.. I know a few of you are thinking…
“Wait a minute here… is this guy just making a bunch of lame excuses to justify his belligerent behavior?”
Ha.. I can totally understand you thinking that… really.
But no… and I think anyone who experienced this would agree, and….
I think it’s important that we are open and honest about the reality of our awakening and the dark places and even the regrettable deeds it can sometimes provoke… even in the best of us.
So often we hold ourselves accountable to very stringent and unrealistic expectations…
We walk around as if we are already supposed to be saints, and yet we are all simply human beings, that seem to find ourselves… one way or another in these difficult dilemmas and precarious situations, that really stretch and test us.
Many souls who have communicated with beings on the other side relay the information that.. Anyone who dares set foot on this extraordinarily diverse, dense, and challenging Earth realm is a master in their own right.
That seems to be the point of coming, and perhaps reason for our relatively short lives we live.
All of that is obviously speculation and not concrete…
But… I do know this… and think you will agree…
Feeling guilty for weeks after any mistake doesn’t do anything at all.
In fact, a favorite channeler of mine… Bashar… says that the the opposite of love is not hate… it is guilt.
Guilt is like kriptonite for spiritual progress.
With that said… of course, it’s important for us to take a step back and examine what the true cause of any mistake we make, was.
In my case, it’s that my kids are simply acting out the lingering dysfunction that I still have within myself.
If any of you are awakening with kids… you probably don’t need me to tell you how clear of a mirror they can be.
They are so selfless for allowing themselves to reflect our conditioning in such a clear way.
My two older kids, Mya and Lukas have been really testing their boundaries lately… I would estimate because they can sense my pre-occupation and own imbalance, as I do my best to integrate the crazy September 2016 energies.
So.. after my meltdown… I went down stairs… cleaned up my little spill, and took a few minutes to just sit down and take a breather.
Once my instability became clear to me, I knew removing myself from the situation was the first logical step to take.
The few minutes turned into about 15 and then I was finally ready to go up and apologize and lay with my kids, and also let them know that I take full responsibility for my actions.
They know I don’t often do this, and because they are so amazing, they almost sat in a state of loving concern for me, rather than resentment for my yelling.
After that… I felt tremendous release and peace in my body.
I have experienced a situation that will force me to make some changes within myself and perhaps some modifications to our bedtime routine 🙂
The outburst will benefit both me and the unlucky recipients… as these situations (though ugly on the surface)… normally do.
For every negative there is always an positive…
Was it unfortunate that it took such a blow out to get the point across to me?
However, we are living in very accelerated energy and sometimes it just happens.
What’s important is that we take action… make the necessary adjustments attempting to be catalyzed by the event and move on.
No blaming anybody or anything… yet still taking full responsibility.
And moving onto another moment.
Don’t underestimate the degree of transformation we are all here experiencing at this time. Waking up from deep… deep unconsciousness and becoming beings of light in this short of a span is insane.
Your awakening is difficult enough, I suggest not wasting any time or energy on feeling guilty… accept that you are a student, in one of the most difficult schools in all of creation at perhaps THE most challenging time in all of it’s history.
More so, this particular window of time… September 2016 is simply unreal.
You all have huge hearts and I know are doing the absolute best you can.
I bet my confession will not have you thinking poorly of me.. right?
Remember that, next time you find yourself in a similar situation…
Show yourself the same lenience, compassion, and understanding.
If you can do that, you will find that you get stuck much less in these fleeting lows, and are able to more quickly resume flight back in the higher octaves of the incoming ascension energies…
PS. Thanks for all the good wishes for my camping trip 🙂
So far so good… minus the few learning experiences, lol
It certainly feels intense right now, hang in there if you find you are struggling… I feel some lighter energy coming soon.
Talk to you soon 🙂
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